Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Week 11 Storytelling Post: We are Still Family

The sun glinted off the shiny red finish of Danny's new convertible as he pulled up to the curb. His hair was slicked back with enough gel to make his hair almost as shiny as the car and as he slid his designer sunglasses onto his head, his hair did not move an inch. Hopping out of his car, he approached the group of brothers who, until now, had been minding their own business as they packed up their campsite for the day.

"So, if it's not the great Pandavas," he said, leaning against their camper. "I just thought I'd come pay a visit to my favorite cousins! How do you like my new car? It's the latest model."

His cocky smile was infuriating and Benny took a step forward. Before he could do anything, however, his brother, Young, stopped him with an outstretched arm. 

"Ah, Danny, it's great to see you! It has been so long," Young said, smiling at his cousin. "It has been, what? Almost twelve years since we last spoke. Truly too long."

At his cousins words, Danny's smile faltered. He stuttered, "Ye-yes I believe it has been that long."

As his eyes moved over his cousins, though-their tattered clothes, their dirty hair, their old, beat-up trailer- his confidence returned.

"Seems like you guys are having a little bit of a hard time," he mocked. "It's too bad my father had to write you out of his will. Of course, I tried to convince him not to, but you know my father!"

His words made the brothers tense because of course this was not true. Danny, being jealous of the love his father felt for his cousins, had begged his father to kick them out of the house and write them out of his will. Being unable to deny his spoiled son anything, he had done so.

Being the calmest of the brothers, Young spoke yet again. "Of course we do not blame you, Danny. You were as helpless as we were in the situation. And, as you can see, we are quite happy! Thank you for paying us a visit."

This, too, surprised Danny. "Well, I-I was in the neighborhood. Th-thought I'd show you my new car," he stammered, before finding his voice once more. "Besides, I'm busy. I have important things to get done. A meeting. I gotta go!"

And with that, Danny hopped back into his car and took off down the road.
Image of a red Corvette convertible found on Wikimedia Commons
****

The Pandavas piled into their camper and set out along the highway. In the distance, they saw the bright, flashing blue and red lights of a police car. As they approached, they also noticed the bright-red shiny paint of their cousins new car.

The closer they got, the more dire the situation seemed. There were at least three officers out of their vehicles, one had drawn their gun, and the other two were pinning Danny to the ground.

Young pulled the vehicle to the side of the road. "Everyone stay in the camper. I'm going to help Danny," he said as he opened the door.

"Hey, Greg, Darcy, Val," Young said as he approached the group. "What seems to be the problem?"

The police visibly relaxed as Young approached. Greg lowered his weapon and Darcy and Val relaxed their hold on Danny, who remained on the ground in handcuffs. 

"This punk was going 50 over the posted speed limit," Val said. "And when I pulled him over, he refused to show any licence and registration. Then he ran for it and trespassed on private property."

Young glanced at his cousin before he spoke. "I am truly sorry for my cousins behavior. He is not a danger to anyone but himself and if you could release him, my brothers and I would greatly appreciate it."

Val grimaced at Danny before shrugging her shoulders. "You know I'd do anything for the Pandavas," she said, bending down to unlock Danny's cuffs. "Now, don't let us catch you doing anything like that again!"
****

As the police returned to their vehicles, Danny approached Young. "Thanks for getting me out of that," he mumbled, staring at his feet. "I-I appreciate it."

Young placed a hand on his shoulder. "No matter what, we are family."

Author's Notes

This week I wanted to write about the story where Duryodhana goes to show off his power and his wealth while the Pandavas are in exile, but he just ended up humiliating himself by being captured. I thought this was a really interesting story and I loved how Duryodhana ended up having to thank the Pandavas for saving him. In this story, I really wanted to place the setting in a rural, small, American town. Young is Yudishthira, Danny is Duryodhana, and Greg, Darcy, and Val are the Ghandarvas that captured Duryodhana in the original text. The original story from which I created this story is from Narayan's the Mahabharata

4 comments:

  1. Hi Natalie! I really liked the way you told this story. You updated it and made it much easier for a modern audience to relate to it, but it was also really clear what story you were referencing and who all of the characters were. Making everyone's names start with the same letter was a really great idea. Your writing flowed well throughout the story and it was very easy to follow, with no noticeable errors or anything. Good job!

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  2. Wow, what a great story. I always appreciate it when people are able to modernize one of the stories. Personally I could understand everything going on with the story and I think you did an excellent job. I enjoyed the background information describing how they got kicked out, because I think it would have been easy to gloss over that section and continue with the story, but you explained it very well.

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  3. Great story! This story would be perfect for a Kid show! It teaches you not to show off everything you have. I loved how you made more related to our time. It made it an easier and clear read. The story itself was great I loved it when the Pandus had to go and save duryodhana at the end. Anyways Great Story.

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  4. I really like how you make your stories more relatable to the readers. By making it so modern, it is easier for me to read and understand it. I think you picked a really good story to base this off of and I like how you turned it into your story. I found that it was really easy to read and I did not notice any errors. Good job.

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