Hey Natalie. Awesome Storybook! I think you have a really interesting dynamic going on there. I really like the TV show perspective. You did a really good job of connecting the TV show aspect of it to the characteristics of Surya. For example, explaining how his chariot where he films the show reflects the light to keep people on earth alive. I also really liked the dialogue between Surya and his wife about him feeling like he is exploiting the characters. Being so high up in the hierarchy of the epics I think this was a cool point to make. I also really like the layout of your Storybook. It is simple and easy to navigate but it is intriguing and makes you want to keep reading. I think you picked the perfect picture for the home page. It is bright, colorful, and really catches your attention right off the bat. Also I like the Beatles references in “Here Comes Surya”. Awesome job!
Hey Natalie! Reality shows are such a guilty pleasure for me so I totally love the idea of writing out a theoretical one with characters from the stories of the Ramayana and Mahabharata. Your introduction page and picture were great. The format was nicely complemented by your choice of formatting for your storybook. The first part of your introduction, the part above the asterisk brea, read easily. It was interesting how you used the second part of your the introduction to show some inner conflict with Surya’s choice of doing a reality tv show. It rounds him out as a character and also gives him some emotional depth. It was also a way to introduce his wife, Sanjna, their relationship together and her overall influence on Surya’s thinking. I would like to know more about the setting itself. Is it all taking place in his chariot, in the clouds, in his home? More descriptions of where they are could easily clear up that confusion.
Hi Natalie! You did a great job on your storybook. The introduction and pictures included look awesome. It was easy to read and follow along. I like how you related your project to a tv show. That is something different that I have not seen yet. I wish there was more description for the setting. Maybe you could provide information as to where this is taking place? I like the title and thought it was very catchy. The pictures you used are colorful and caught my attention. I also liked how you portrayed and introduced the characters. Overall great job!
Hello Natalie! I like the fact that you are doing a TV show, that is a different dynamic than any other storybook that I have read so far. I can't wait to tune in next week to see the show. Your introduction was easy to read for example "Hello, folks, and welcome to "A View From Above," the reality show where we take your favorite humans, monkeys, rakshasas, and everything in between and watch their lives unfold right before our eyes!" That caught my attention and made me more intrigued of what was to come next. The flow of your story made it easy to picture myself watching the show, (I love reality television shows. When I can watch them). I liked how you structured the second part of your story, with the inner conflict. That gave a huge insight into what to expect for the story (or should I say episode). Good Job and I will tune in for next week's episode.
Hi Natalie, The beginning of the introduction was really funny. Especially when you said “we take your favorite humans, monkeys and rakshasa’s and everything in between”. It was pretty cleaver making Surya the host of your show and the title for the reality show is “A View From Above”. I really like it. I am wanting to read more about the stories you have to tell. Surya’s introduction kept me on my toes, it was very clever and witty. One of my favorite part was when Surya’s wife- Sanjana comes to visit Surya in sunglasses. The picture you provided with the introduction helped me picture the settings. I could “see” Surya getting of the stage and slipping in to his robe and talking to Sanjana. At the ending of the story when you wrote “And the camera was running the whole time”, I was like here comes trouble. I am looking forward to read your story book. Good luck.
Hi Natalie! I have to say, I really like your storybook so far. I think it's a really clever idea to set up the stories as different episodes from a television show, and if the first story is any example, it also works really well to characterize Surya by showing how he interacts (or interferes) with the stories. Your introduction was really well-done, and it does a nice job of setting the tone for the storybook. The layout for your storybook is really simple and it's very easy to navigate and read.Your first story was pretty good, and there was some really good dialogue between the two brothers. I think you're headed in the right direction for your final version of the storybook, and I look forward to reading more!
I think your project is coming together so nicely. I can tell you are putting a lot of effort and thought into how the stories, introductions, and characters can all tie together. I thought your introduction was hilarious. It’s already comical to think of a god having his own television show where he watches earthlings and decides when to intervene, but the fact that he is embarrassed by the show and feels like a “sell-out” makes the whole idea even funnier. Showing not only the tv-persona of Surya, but also the celebrity side of his character gives your project an unexpected kind of depth. The structure of your actual story about Jatayu and Sampathi was very well-organized and easy to understand. I like how you clearly separated out the portion where Surya is interjecting; I hope you consider using a similar format for your other stories as well. Great work, and I look forward to reading more!
Hi! I read your introduction to your storybook this week. I want to start off by saying I completely love the idea you are working with. I love the idea of a TV network that watches the lives of others and maybe meddles a little bit. It is a very creative idea. The flow of your story is absolutely wonderful. I really enjoyed the break between when the speaker was on air and when he was off air. This was a great transition. I like the structure and the background color for your story. The text size was good and the font was easy to read. I didn't notice any grammatical errors, which mad your story easy to read. I really liked the picture you picked to use in your story. I also like the placement of it, which might seem odd to comment on, but I really liked it. Great job!
Hi Natalie, I am commenting in regards to your project, storybook. I had one free choice to pick someone’s storybook to read and give a comment, I had to choose yours because I had read your introduction previously and it got me hooked! I really enjoyed reading the story of Jatayu and Sampathi. First, when you started by what happened to your arm, I could not hold my curiosity in! I had to keep reading. I liked how you set up your blog; it is easier for me to read. Only thing I would do differently is the picture choice, I thought the picture was way too simple, but hey, the story makes up for it. I cannot wait for the rest of the stories that you are going to add to your blog. You storybook is definitely one of the storybook that I am waiting to read every week.
Wow great idea. I would of never thought of doing a reality show. At first the idea the seams really hard to do but your story pulled it off perfectly. I liked how it has a mix of a talk show in it too. The story was great! Your really personalized the relationship between Jatayu and sampathi really well. The race itself was also very descriptive and painted a great picture at what was actually going on. It was a very easy read. I would of loved it, if had more space. So that I can see what you did with the story, your site looks great also. The colors blend well together and help your text pop. Great choice in photos. I want to add some grammar issue but I really couldn’t see any! Great story cant wait for the next page!
I really enjoyed reading your Storybook! I liked how you included a picture of Surya. It really lets your viewers know what to expect and what your story book is mainly going to be about. I read your introduction and did not notice any punctuation or grammatical errors. Good job! You must have proofread it or had a friend read over it.
Another thing I liked about your storybook was the style you chose to tell your story in. You modernized it, making it more entertaining and relatable. It kind of made an ancient story easier to understand.
I also read your “jatayu and Sampathi” story as well. This story actually reminded me of the Greek story about the father and son who were imprisoned and tried escaping by making wings and flying out of the prison. The son flew too close to the sun and consequently ruining the wings. The son fell to his death.
Your story book has an awesome spin to it. I was able easily understand from the introduction what it was going to be about. I'm still trying to find out if there is like a producer who has an agenda or something. Maybe that's in the next story. I read the intro and the first story about jatayu and sampathi. This sorta reminded me of one of the movies I watched for class where they are writing down history and viewing it at the same time. Sometimes they interact with the characters or help them. I enjoyed the story very much. I like the separation and transitions in the story it really helps me not get confused about what is taking place. Keep up the great work.
It would be interesting to see how his family takes a part in the show. I was curious about it because Surya mentioned it in the introduction. I wasn't to sure what the "family drama" was going to be and how it would fit in to the show.
I remember reading the introduction of your storybook a few weeks ago and loving the fact that you were doing a reality television show. I have not had a chance to read the other stories that you have added but the one about the birth of Karna, seemed to catch my attention the most. I was a little confused when I read through it the first time. because it was a little difficult to read through. I think my biggest struggle was trying to catch the transitions between the reality show and the story itself. I think the first transition was the hardest for me to get through the most, but the second transition towards the end was good (if that makes sense). Or maybe that was just me. But the story itself was really interesting and intriguing to read. And the birth of Karna is one of my favorite stories by far.
I love this introduction. I enjoyed the jokes at the beginning, I think it really set the tone for this storybook. I also like the look inside a modern Surya’s view. I think that the picture was an excellent choice and that the paragraph spacing and flow worked well. Obviously the pun choice was spot on and I did not find any words that were out of place. I like the hook at the very end of the introduction I think it will keep a lot of readers involved. I really like the way it appears you are going to string your stories together I think it was a great idea. The story in and of itself was good and flowed well. Personally I enjoy this spin on the stories. I think that Surya’s interjections were at the proper times and that it added to the story. Again the picture is good and the link works. I had no trouble reading your story as far as formatting is concerned. I like the way you set up your next story.
Hey Natalie! Your website and cover page look very good! The colors and opening image on the cover page match the theme of Surya very well! Great job on your Introduction! I liked how you had the idea of Surya being the host on a reality show. The Introduction was very entertaining because of that and the dialogue helped that aspect of it as well. Your first sentence of the Introduction itself was very well written and a huge attention grabber, so good job on that! The story of "Jatayu and Sampati" was very detailed and well written. The dialogue was a good addition to the story and improved the plot overall. The setting of the story seemed pretty clear. I liked how there is an interjection with Surya in the story as well. Great job on everything so far and good luck with the rest of your Storybook!
I see what you did with your most recent story The Birth of Karna. I enjoyed it. At first I was a tiny bit confused about what was going on then I caught what was happening. It was a good take to think about what it was like from the God's perspective. I wonder why she called upon the mantra when she didn't mean to. Anyway, it was also fun to read about what the wife must have been thinking. It's always strange in mythology because some of these gods have so many children with some many people you wonder what their wives or husbands think. I didn't realize until I read the authors note what the earrings were about. That picture threw me off a bit since I hadn't recalled that Karna received those at birth. I've enjoyed your posts so far as I chose to check in on the tv show this week.
Hi Natalie. This is the second time I have been to your storybook. The first time I only read the introduction because it was at the beginning of the project so I’m glad that I had the chance to revisit it. This time I chose to read the story about Jatayu and Sampathi. I think this was a great story because it is includes a competition between family members and also had a tragedy involved, both things that make for an entertaining show. Also, the fact that the story involved flying closer to the sun (who happens to be the host) made it a great choice for the storybook. You do a great job of switching back and forth from telling a story to maintain the TV host aspect of it. The repetition of telling the reader that the story is exaggerated for the sake of TV does a great job of keeping the story within the theme. I think you did a really good job of introducing the story as well.
Great story! I really enjoy reading your stories, I really enjoy the characters. I like how there always seems to be something going on in your stories, whether it is the birth of a child or seeing the backstage of his show. This story is spaced out very well and it is easy to read. I think that the balance between dialogue and background was very good. I think that another picture could have been more effective but the link to the picture works. I think that this story turned out well despite the writer’s block. I like how you continue to keep their relationship intact and on such good terms. I think it was wise to slip the point of view from solely focused on Surya to include both Surya and Sanjna. I think that for your current character the thoughts that he had were spot on and didn’t contradict previously established patterns.
I read your last story, "The Birth of Karana." I liked your story it was really creative. However, i had to read a couple of times to understand did. I got lost on the part about Kunti. After reading that paragraph another time i Finally got what was going on. I Think the writing was fine fro that paragraph. i think I was confused cause surya just appeared in front of Kunti. I did like your dialoague between everyone though. It made seem like they were actually a couple in love. the dialogue involving Kunti made her seem really scared and naive and displayed her character really well. The story itself was great. There was not any grammar errors or issues. One thing was the structure, The context leading up the baby's birth left me confused until I read it again. The ending it self was awesome too. Anyways it was a great read!
Hi Natalie! I will be commenting on your last story, The Birth of Karna. Like i have said before I like the layout and design of your story book. I thought the pictures you included goes along and fits well with your story book. Your stories are filled with some sort of drama and action and keep the story book exciting and lively. You formatted the paragraphs nicely in a way that is easy for me to follow along and keep my thoughts organized. You had a lot of dialogue and information that went along very well. I like how it wasn't just about Surya but also Sanjna. Your story flows well from the previous stories you have already written. Overall, I think you did a great job! I will be looking forward to reading more of your stories from your story book.
This will be a comment on your story, Duryodhana. I was taken back by how different this one was. It was much more focused on the story. Understandably, you said that you had a lot of ground to cover. I would have liked more story into the show and the interactions with his family. I enjoyed learning why they were doing the show and how parts of it they didn't like. I will have to come back next week to see what the overarching story is to your storybook. I am really excited to tune in. I guess for me I struggled with reading this story because I felt that it was almost to direct from the actually story and there wasn't really any twists. Usually, I have found that you put twists to your story with something that happens in the tv show and also a twist to the actually story happening on earth. Anyway, keep up the awesome work on the show.
Hi Natalie! This is my first time visiting your storybook, and I have to say I am overall very impressed. As the semester is coming to an end, I am trying to make an effort to read through each person's projects as they are all so unique. It seems like I've hit almost all of them, so I was excited to find yours. I love the theme you've chosen! Your introduction was so well written and entertaining. What a clever idea to incorporate a reality tv show into the epics we've read throughout the semester. From the very beginning of your introduction, I was immediately interested. I love reading stories with modern twists, and yours was one of my favorites. Also, I think your layout is great. The colors are great and your storybook is easily accessible. Overall, Great job!
I just read your story about the birth of Karna. Also, in case you were wondering, I definitely voted for your storybook as one of my favorites! This story is well-written, mechanically sound, and incredibly creative. I never stopped to think what it might feel like for Surya to be summoned by some random woman he’d never met to create a child! Of course that would be a sticky situation to be in… especially since he had a wife! I love how you walked the reader through his thought processes and the ultimate conclusion he came to. I also love how you set up the birth of Karna before you have Surya interview him later in life. This helps the reader understand their relationship and their understanding of each other. I am not left wondering what will happen to Kunti and the child because I am familiar with the original story, as are our classmates. I also appreciated your honesty in the author’s note. Trust me; I’ve experience writer’s block on more than a few assignments for this class. Overall, great work!
Hi Natalie! So this is the third time for me to visit your storybook.. I was not surprised at all when I saw that it was voted as one of the favorites of the class. This time around, I read the about the episode on Karna. Once again, you did an awesome job with this story. You have been very consistent throughout the storybook with maintaining the integrity of a tv show host. You always have a great intro that gets the ball rolling and keeps the audience’s attention. For this story, it was the possibility of introducing one of the characters on the show that kept the interest going throughout. I also thought that you chose a good story to end on. Karna was always very interesting to me, and battles are always something that will catch the reader’s attention. I know you said writing this one was hard for you, but I think you did a great job with it!
Natalie! I cannot believe that I have not read your Storybook yet. I was intrigued from the start. This was great and I loved the way you wrote your dialogue. As I was reading through the introduction, I almost got the same vibe from it as I did when reading the Hunger Games and reading about Caesar Flickerman doing his interviews for the tributes. I think it is because they both have the same voice in my head.
Anyways, great job on your writing and developing this Storybook with such a unique idea. You have a great talent for sharing stories in such a vibrant voice. I think it is quite amazing how you were able to take these stories and share them in a way that is interesting and unique. You have done a great job in carrying this Storybook through to the finish line. Good luck on finals!
What a great story for you to have written. Every time I read your storybook I am impressed that you are able to incorporate humor and the seriousness of the story. I think that starting and ending with a more personable look at Surya and Sanjna. I appreciate how your story is spaced, it lends itself to make the story more intense but it does not make the story choppy or hard to read. To be honest I am not really sure if the picture lends itself to the story in a significant way. I like the closing portion of your author’s note. It is a strange thought that perhaps in another timeline it would have been possible for the sides to have been changed, but even Surya said that “you cannot change someone’s fate”. I did not see any typos nor did I see much that I would change. What a great story for you to have written. Every time I read your storybook I am impressed that you are able to incorporate humor and the seriousness of the story. I think that starting and ending with a more personable look at Surya and Sanjna. I appreciate how your story is spaced, it lends itself to make the story more intense but it does not make the story choppy or hard to read. To be honest I am not really sure if the picture lends itself to the story in a significant way. I like the closing portion of your author’s note. It is a strange thought that perhaps in another timeline it would have been possible for the sides to have been changed, but even Surya said that “you cannot change someone’s fate”. I did not see any typos nor did I see much that I would change. What a great story for you to have written. Every time I read your storybook I am impressed that you are able to incorporate humor and the seriousness of the story. I think that starting and ending with a more personable look at Surya and Sanjna. I appreciate how your story is spaced, it lends itself to make the story more intense but it does not make the story choppy or hard to read. To be honest I am not really sure if the picture lends itself to the story in a significant way. I like the closing portion of your author’s note. It is a strange thought that perhaps in another timeline it would have been possible for the sides to have been changed, but even Surya said that “you cannot change someone’s fate”. I did not see any typos nor did I see much that I would change.
Jatayu and Sampathi This was a very cool story to read. I like the personality that you gave Surya and how he really did talk like a host from a television show would. This adaption of the story of Jatayu and Sampathi was very interesting in regard to the fact that it was written from the perspective of the sun. I liked how at the end of the story Jatayu and Sampathi were given a bittersweet ending. Jatayu lost his wings but he was still able to be with his brother. It was probably for the best though that it ended where it did. I also liked how the story took into account that in space there is no sound, that they would not be able to speak, and how Surya was kind to them and gave them the ability to speak again. The story did not have any noticeable grammar of spelling mistakes in it. Also, the spacing of the story made it easy to read.
Hey Natalie. Awesome Storybook! I think you have a really interesting dynamic going on there. I really like the TV show perspective. You did a really good job of connecting the TV show aspect of it to the characteristics of Surya. For example, explaining how his chariot where he films the show reflects the light to keep people on earth alive. I also really liked the dialogue between Surya and his wife about him feeling like he is exploiting the characters. Being so high up in the hierarchy of the epics I think this was a cool point to make. I also really like the layout of your Storybook. It is simple and easy to navigate but it is intriguing and makes you want to keep reading. I think you picked the perfect picture for the home page. It is bright, colorful, and really catches your attention right off the bat. Also I like the Beatles references in “Here Comes Surya”. Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteHey Natalie! Reality shows are such a guilty pleasure for me so I totally love the idea of writing out a theoretical one with characters from the stories of the Ramayana and Mahabharata. Your introduction page and picture were great. The format was nicely complemented by your choice of formatting for your storybook. The first part of your introduction, the part above the asterisk brea, read easily. It was interesting how you used the second part of your the introduction to show some inner conflict with Surya’s choice of doing a reality tv show. It rounds him out as a character and also gives him some emotional depth. It was also a way to introduce his wife, Sanjna, their relationship together and her overall influence on Surya’s thinking. I would like to know more about the setting itself. Is it all taking place in his chariot, in the clouds, in his home? More descriptions of where they are could easily clear up that confusion.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie! You did a great job on your storybook. The introduction and pictures included look awesome. It was easy to read and follow along. I like how you related your project to a tv show. That is something different that I have not seen yet. I wish there was more description for the setting. Maybe you could provide information as to where this is taking place? I like the title and thought it was very catchy. The pictures you used are colorful and caught my attention. I also liked how you portrayed and introduced the characters. Overall great job!
ReplyDeleteHello Natalie!
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that you are doing a TV show, that is a different dynamic than any other storybook that I have read so far. I can't wait to tune in next week to see the show. Your introduction was easy to read for example "Hello, folks, and welcome to "A View From Above," the reality show where we take your favorite humans, monkeys, rakshasas, and everything in between and watch their lives unfold right before our eyes!" That caught my attention and made me more intrigued of what was to come next. The flow of your story made it easy to picture myself watching the show, (I love reality television shows. When I can watch them). I liked how you structured the second part of your story, with the inner conflict. That gave a huge insight into what to expect for the story (or should I say episode). Good Job and I will tune in for next week's episode.
Hi Natalie,
ReplyDeleteThe beginning of the introduction was really funny. Especially when you said “we take your favorite humans, monkeys and rakshasa’s and everything in between”. It was pretty cleaver making Surya the host of your show and the title for the reality show is “A View From Above”. I really like it. I am wanting to read more about the stories you have to tell. Surya’s introduction kept me on my toes, it was very clever and witty. One of my favorite part was when Surya’s wife- Sanjana comes to visit Surya in sunglasses. The picture you provided with the introduction helped me picture the settings. I could “see” Surya getting of the stage and slipping in to his robe and talking to Sanjana. At the ending of the story when you wrote “And the camera was running the whole time”, I was like here comes trouble. I am looking forward to read your story book. Good luck.
Hi Natalie! I have to say, I really like your storybook so far. I think it's a really clever idea to set up the stories as different episodes from a television show, and if the first story is any example, it also works really well to characterize Surya by showing how he interacts (or interferes) with the stories. Your introduction was really well-done, and it does a nice job of setting the tone for the storybook. The layout for your storybook is really simple and it's very easy to navigate and read.Your first story was pretty good, and there was some really good dialogue between the two brothers. I think you're headed in the right direction for your final version of the storybook, and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteI think your project is coming together so nicely. I can tell you are putting a lot of effort and thought into how the stories, introductions, and characters can all tie together. I thought your introduction was hilarious. It’s already comical to think of a god having his own television show where he watches earthlings and decides when to intervene, but the fact that he is embarrassed by the show and feels like a “sell-out” makes the whole idea even funnier. Showing not only the tv-persona of Surya, but also the celebrity side of his character gives your project an unexpected kind of depth. The structure of your actual story about Jatayu and Sampathi was very well-organized and easy to understand. I like how you clearly separated out the portion where Surya is interjecting; I hope you consider using a similar format for your other stories as well. Great work, and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHi! I read your introduction to your storybook this week. I want to start off by saying I completely love the idea you are working with. I love the idea of a TV network that watches the lives of others and maybe meddles a little bit. It is a very creative idea. The flow of your story is absolutely wonderful. I really enjoyed the break between when the speaker was on air and when he was off air. This was a great transition. I like the structure and the background color for your story. The text size was good and the font was easy to read. I didn't notice any grammatical errors, which mad your story easy to read. I really liked the picture you picked to use in your story. I also like the placement of it, which might seem odd to comment on, but I really liked it. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie,
ReplyDeleteI am commenting in regards to your project, storybook. I had one free choice to pick someone’s storybook to read and give a comment, I had to choose yours because I had read your introduction previously and it got me hooked! I really enjoyed reading the story of Jatayu and Sampathi. First, when you started by what happened to your arm, I could not hold my curiosity in! I had to keep reading. I liked how you set up your blog; it is easier for me to read. Only thing I would do differently is the picture choice, I thought the picture was way too simple, but hey, the story makes up for it. I cannot wait for the rest of the stories that you are going to add to your blog. You storybook is definitely one of the storybook that I am waiting to read every week.
Wow great idea. I would of never thought of doing a reality show. At first the idea the seams really hard to do but your story pulled it off perfectly. I liked how it has a mix of a talk show in it too. The story was great! Your really personalized the relationship between Jatayu and sampathi really well. The race itself was also very descriptive and painted a great picture at what was actually going on. It was a very easy read. I would of loved it, if had more space. So that I can see what you did with the story, your site looks great also. The colors blend well together and help your text pop. Great choice in photos. I want to add some grammar issue but I really couldn’t see any! Great story cant wait for the next page!
ReplyDeleteHey Natalie!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your Storybook! I liked how you included a picture of Surya. It really lets your viewers know what to expect and what your story book is mainly going to be about. I read your introduction and did not notice any punctuation or grammatical errors. Good job! You must have proofread it or had a friend read over it.
Another thing I liked about your storybook was the style you chose to tell your story in. You modernized it, making it more entertaining and relatable. It kind of made an ancient story easier to understand.
I also read your “jatayu and Sampathi” story as well. This story actually reminded me of the Greek story about the father and son who were imprisoned and tried escaping by making wings and flying out of the prison. The son flew too close to the sun and consequently ruining the wings. The son fell to his death.
Your story book has an awesome spin to it. I was able easily understand from the introduction what it was going to be about. I'm still trying to find out if there is like a producer who has an agenda or something. Maybe that's in the next story. I read the intro and the first story about jatayu and sampathi. This sorta reminded me of one of the movies I watched for class where they are writing down history and viewing it at the same time. Sometimes they interact with the characters or help them. I enjoyed the story very much. I like the separation and transitions in the story it really helps me not get confused about what is taking place. Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteIt would be interesting to see how his family takes a part in the show. I was curious about it because Surya mentioned it in the introduction. I wasn't to sure what the "family drama" was going to be and how it would fit in to the show.
I remember reading the introduction of your storybook a few weeks ago and loving the fact that you were doing a reality television show. I have not had a chance to read the other stories that you have added but the one about the birth of Karna, seemed to catch my attention the most. I was a little confused when I read through it the first time. because it was a little difficult to read through. I think my biggest struggle was trying to catch the transitions between the reality show and the story itself. I think the first transition was the hardest for me to get through the most, but the second transition towards the end was good (if that makes sense). Or maybe that was just me. But the story itself was really interesting and intriguing to read. And the birth of Karna is one of my favorite stories by far.
ReplyDeleteI love this introduction. I enjoyed the jokes at the beginning, I think it really set the tone for this storybook. I also like the look inside a modern Surya’s view. I think that the picture was an excellent choice and that the paragraph spacing and flow worked well. Obviously the pun choice was spot on and I did not find any words that were out of place. I like the hook at the very end of the introduction I think it will keep a lot of readers involved.
ReplyDeleteI really like the way it appears you are going to string your stories together I think it was a great idea. The story in and of itself was good and flowed well. Personally I enjoy this spin on the stories. I think that Surya’s interjections were at the proper times and that it added to the story. Again the picture is good and the link works. I had no trouble reading your story as far as formatting is concerned. I like the way you set up your next story.
Hey Natalie! Your website and cover page look very good! The colors and opening image on the cover page match the theme of Surya very well! Great job on your Introduction! I liked how you had the idea of Surya being the host on a reality show. The Introduction was very entertaining because of that and the dialogue helped that aspect of it as well. Your first sentence of the Introduction itself was very well written and a huge attention grabber, so good job on that! The story of "Jatayu and Sampati" was very detailed and well written. The dialogue was a good addition to the story and improved the plot overall. The setting of the story seemed pretty clear. I liked how there is an interjection with Surya in the story as well. Great job on everything so far and good luck with the rest of your Storybook!
ReplyDeleteI see what you did with your most recent story The Birth of Karna. I enjoyed it. At first I was a tiny bit confused about what was going on then I caught what was happening. It was a good take to think about what it was like from the God's perspective. I wonder why she called upon the mantra when she didn't mean to. Anyway, it was also fun to read about what the wife must have been thinking. It's always strange in mythology because some of these gods have so many children with some many people you wonder what their wives or husbands think. I didn't realize until I read the authors note what the earrings were about. That picture threw me off a bit since I hadn't recalled that Karna received those at birth. I've enjoyed your posts so far as I chose to check in on the tv show this week.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie. This is the second time I have been to your storybook. The first time I only read the introduction because it was at the beginning of the project so I’m glad that I had the chance to revisit it. This time I chose to read the story about Jatayu and Sampathi. I think this was a great story because it is includes a competition between family members and also had a tragedy involved, both things that make for an entertaining show. Also, the fact that the story involved flying closer to the sun (who happens to be the host) made it a great choice for the storybook. You do a great job of switching back and forth from telling a story to maintain the TV host aspect of it. The repetition of telling the reader that the story is exaggerated for the sake of TV does a great job of keeping the story within the theme. I think you did a really good job of introducing the story as well.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I really enjoy reading your stories, I really enjoy the characters. I like how there always seems to be something going on in your stories, whether it is the birth of a child or seeing the backstage of his show. This story is spaced out very well and it is easy to read. I think that the balance between dialogue and background was very good. I think that another picture could have been more effective but the link to the picture works. I think that this story turned out well despite the writer’s block. I like how you continue to keep their relationship intact and on such good terms. I think it was wise to slip the point of view from solely focused on Surya to include both Surya and Sanjna. I think that for your current character the thoughts that he had were spot on and didn’t contradict previously established patterns.
ReplyDeleteI read your last story, "The Birth of Karana." I liked your story it was really creative. However, i had to read a couple of times to understand did. I got lost on the part about Kunti. After reading that paragraph another time i Finally got what was going on. I Think the writing was fine fro that paragraph. i think I was confused cause surya just appeared in front of Kunti. I did like your dialoague between everyone though. It made seem like they were actually a couple in love. the dialogue involving Kunti made her seem really scared and naive and displayed her character really well. The story itself was great. There was not any grammar errors or issues. One thing was the structure, The context leading up the baby's birth left me confused until I read it again. The ending it self was awesome too. Anyways it was a great read!
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie! I will be commenting on your last story, The Birth of Karna. Like i have said before I like the layout and design of your story book. I thought the pictures you included goes along and fits well with your story book. Your stories are filled with some sort of drama and action and keep the story book exciting and lively. You formatted the paragraphs nicely in a way that is easy for me to follow along and keep my thoughts organized. You had a lot of dialogue and information that went along very well. I like how it wasn't just about Surya but also Sanjna. Your story flows well from the previous stories you have already written. Overall, I think you did a great job! I will be looking forward to reading more of your stories from your story book.
ReplyDeleteThis will be a comment on your story, Duryodhana. I was taken back by how different this one was. It was much more focused on the story. Understandably, you said that you had a lot of ground to cover. I would have liked more story into the show and the interactions with his family. I enjoyed learning why they were doing the show and how parts of it they didn't like. I will have to come back next week to see what the overarching story is to your storybook. I am really excited to tune in. I guess for me I struggled with reading this story because I felt that it was almost to direct from the actually story and there wasn't really any twists. Usually, I have found that you put twists to your story with something that happens in the tv show and also a twist to the actually story happening on earth. Anyway, keep up the awesome work on the show.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie! This is my first time visiting your storybook, and I have to say I am overall very impressed. As the semester is coming to an end, I am trying to make an effort to read through each person's projects as they are all so unique. It seems like I've hit almost all of them, so I was excited to find yours. I love the theme you've chosen! Your introduction was so well written and entertaining. What a clever idea to incorporate a reality tv show into the epics we've read throughout the semester. From the very beginning of your introduction, I was immediately interested. I love reading stories with modern twists, and yours was one of my favorites. Also, I think your layout is great. The colors are great and your storybook is easily accessible. Overall, Great job!
ReplyDeleteI just read your story about the birth of Karna. Also, in case you were wondering, I definitely voted for your storybook as one of my favorites! This story is well-written, mechanically sound, and incredibly creative. I never stopped to think what it might feel like for Surya to be summoned by some random woman he’d never met to create a child! Of course that would be a sticky situation to be in… especially since he had a wife! I love how you walked the reader through his thought processes and the ultimate conclusion he came to. I also love how you set up the birth of Karna before you have Surya interview him later in life. This helps the reader understand their relationship and their understanding of each other. I am not left wondering what will happen to Kunti and the child because I am familiar with the original story, as are our classmates. I also appreciated your honesty in the author’s note. Trust me; I’ve experience writer’s block on more than a few assignments for this class. Overall, great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie!
ReplyDeleteSo this is the third time for me to visit your storybook.. I was not surprised at all when I saw that it was voted as one of the favorites of the class. This time around, I read the about the episode on Karna. Once again, you did an awesome job with this story. You have been very consistent throughout the storybook with maintaining the integrity of a tv show host. You always have a great intro that gets the ball rolling and keeps the audience’s attention. For this story, it was the possibility of introducing one of the characters on the show that kept the interest going throughout. I also thought that you chose a good story to end on. Karna was always very interesting to me, and battles are always something that will catch the reader’s attention. I know you said writing this one was hard for you, but I think you did a great job with it!
Natalie! I cannot believe that I have not read your Storybook yet. I was intrigued from the start. This was great and I loved the way you wrote your dialogue. As I was reading through the introduction, I almost got the same vibe from it as I did when reading the Hunger Games and reading about Caesar Flickerman doing his interviews for the tributes. I think it is because they both have the same voice in my head.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, great job on your writing and developing this Storybook with such a unique idea. You have a great talent for sharing stories in such a vibrant voice. I think it is quite amazing how you were able to take these stories and share them in a way that is interesting and unique. You have done a great job in carrying this Storybook through to the finish line. Good luck on finals!
What a great story for you to have written. Every time I read your storybook I am impressed that you are able to incorporate humor and the seriousness of the story. I think that starting and ending with a more personable look at Surya and Sanjna. I appreciate how your story is spaced, it lends itself to make the story more intense but it does not make the story choppy or hard to read. To be honest I am not really sure if the picture lends itself to the story in a significant way. I like the closing portion of your author’s note. It is a strange thought that perhaps in another timeline it would have been possible for the sides to have been changed, but even Surya said that “you cannot change someone’s fate”. I did not see any typos nor did I see much that I would change. What a great story for you to have written. Every time I read your storybook I am impressed that you are able to incorporate humor and the seriousness of the story. I think that starting and ending with a more personable look at Surya and Sanjna. I appreciate how your story is spaced, it lends itself to make the story more intense but it does not make the story choppy or hard to read. To be honest I am not really sure if the picture lends itself to the story in a significant way. I like the closing portion of your author’s note. It is a strange thought that perhaps in another timeline it would have been possible for the sides to have been changed, but even Surya said that “you cannot change someone’s fate”. I did not see any typos nor did I see much that I would change. What a great story for you to have written. Every time I read your storybook I am impressed that you are able to incorporate humor and the seriousness of the story. I think that starting and ending with a more personable look at Surya and Sanjna. I appreciate how your story is spaced, it lends itself to make the story more intense but it does not make the story choppy or hard to read. To be honest I am not really sure if the picture lends itself to the story in a significant way. I like the closing portion of your author’s note. It is a strange thought that perhaps in another timeline it would have been possible for the sides to have been changed, but even Surya said that “you cannot change someone’s fate”. I did not see any typos nor did I see much that I would change.
ReplyDeleteJatayu and Sampathi
ReplyDeleteThis was a very cool story to read. I like the personality that you gave Surya and how he really did talk like a host from a television show would. This adaption of the story of Jatayu and Sampathi was very interesting in regard to the fact that it was written from the perspective of the sun. I liked how at the end of the story Jatayu and Sampathi were given a bittersweet ending. Jatayu lost his wings but he was still able to be with his brother. It was probably for the best though that it ended where it did. I also liked how the story took into account that in space there is no sound, that they would not be able to speak, and how Surya was kind to them and gave them the ability to speak again. The story did not have any noticeable grammar of spelling mistakes in it. Also, the spacing of the story made it easy to read.